sejjers (biggreenmonstr) wrote,

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an entry a day leaves you less likely to talk to your therapist.

all i can think about at this moment is:

poor boomhower, i kno exactly how you feel and why is my chemical romance following me around everywhere? those smashing pumpkin ripoffs wont leave me alone. just get it over with and shave your head so you REALLY look like billy corgan. "my chem." yuk. i wouldnt be singing to it if it wasnt on the damn journeys dvd.

what i was really going to say was i keep hearing steve urkel singing "feelings" while playing his accordian. i dont remember the rest of the song just "feeeelings blah blah blah feeeeeelings."

in any case, i uncovered a poem i started writing in romantic literature a year and a half ago. it goes like this:

"On a day that is so dark and dreary
My mind is feeling weak and weary
a dreaded force is close to nearing
and gives a shudder so bleak and eerie

when wind gathers 'round to howl
the feeling grows to something fowl
the internal monster begins to prowl
and nothing can ever stop it now

your heart quickens and your body shakes
and your mind imagines while your soul still quakes
your surroundings only suffocates
this is no nightmare from which you'll wake

the only way to end this horror
is to hold your breath and courage borrow
to save off any impending sorrow
til the sun rises in the morrow."

i think i like the first two stanzas the best, though they are far from perfect. they just seems so ominous. and edgar allen poe right. but then my unfailing and annoying sense of optimism creeped in to make it seem like it was all a bad dream. but of course the 'horror' i speak of wasnt really built up. i just hadnt wrote a rhyming poem in so long i think i was a little too intimidated to try and drag out a story in that format. plus i didnt have the story made up, so it makes it kind of hard.

ugh, that was from october 2005. such a long time ago. a month ago it seemed like yesterday. and now a month later it seems like ten years ago. how interesting the way time shifts in your mind.

oh i might be visiting the art institute at some point. i got this message about oh heres the info you requested. it was on animation - weird because i just finished my application and sent all the thousands of millions of dollars to apply for the visual merchandizing program. AND it came to mom's house, not mine. so i was wondering if they were still houding me from the original time i expressed interest in the school. personally, im now wishing i had signed up for july or something earlier, in case i do get in. i just want to start NOW. i miss school. ive missed school forever, and its just getting worse and worse.

and so im trying to fill up the days with different fun things. i scored a free ticket to atlantic city to see dropkick murpheys. lisa's boyfriend keiran's sister rebecca asked if i wanted to go and i was like yeeeaaahhh. so im gonna bring a few bucks for the casino and have a good time reminscing about my punk days. ill have to wear the green chucks lisa gave me the other day. thank god we have the same size shoe, she gave me seven pairs bc she was ebaying all the rest of the stuff. i got these really sweet forest green chucks even tho i dont really like them, the color is mostly why i wanted them. size five and a half. but chucks run big soo you kno. lets see, navy and yellow sauconys, lime green roos, ooh um... brown and yellow saucony PHOENIX, oh these really sweet maroon and tan asic gantrais! black and pink tigers for mom, oooh and black vegan rinndels ...VERY CUTE. free shoes are always exciting.

soooo yeah thats whats on schedule. im also trying to make more money so i can afford this ireland trip in june, but i dont really kno how thats going to happen. its somewhere near the vicinity of 1900 but it includes EVERYTHING. the only thing i would need is the passport (i think) which you can get the photos at walgreens...and i think i can dig up the forms from when i wanted to go to scotland. OK when i was ACCEPTED TO THE UNIVERSITY OF GLASGOW. UGH that still really really pisses me off.

but what journeys really needs to do is bring back chromeo, "needy girl" and that crazy dude with the peter frampton voice tube. its great how when hes on the phone with the girl and he goes " im in the studio i cant talk" and the studio is a basement with a really really low ceiling. i like the bass too. i could totally learn that base line. and elkland. i should really comprise a sweet journeys dvd with all the best videos of journeys dvds past. oh this would make it and flock of seagulls, and you could throw in a fallout boy bc it would appease the freaking scenesters. and an incubus and the killswitch song from back when i first started in kop. how about some run dmc and that tlc song where they're wearing the condom overalls.

i LOVE THE WAY THIS GUY DANCES. its hysterical ! he even does a diva point. dude ill put it on my myspace music thing because youtube is fantastic for music videos.

so now we've gone from very well written meaningful journal entries to random stream of consciousness. lovely. i think its time to end this little blurb.

about writing my book in livejournal form. oh well i dont think im quite ready for that. im pretty sure i would scar some egos. who knos who actually reads this things. theres prolly all sorts of stalkers out there not daring to comment. heh heh heh. if only i could see who they were.
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